Shady McCoy wins the dick measuring contest against Baby Dick Boy
Shady isn’t ready to give up on this season. After starting the year 1-6, we all though that was it for Matt. One way to show you still mean business is to do exactly what Matt did in week 8. When Cory changed his name, Matt called me and asked to what level should he embarrass Cory. I simply told Matt to just give him a taste of the Shady shackle. i’m not sure if you all know this but before fantasy football Matt was the King of the porn industry. Do you want to know how dangerous Matt’s dick is? Matt’s dick is so dangerous that after he sticks it in you, he makes your knees weak. His dick goes so far in you that it makes you think you have a big dick and you change your name to big dick boy and after that? well let’s just say he leaves you feeling like a cream filled donut. Cory fell from glory is a heartbeat. When Cory came into the league he thought he was going to create havoc but he quickly learned this league isn’t for the the weak. I think it’s clear to us all, Cory is now the weak baby dick boy thanks to Shady the king of porn
Andy Dalton is no longer digging Jesse’s Chubb
One thing you need to know about T is he doesn’t digg any chub that comes up short, and Jesse came up short in week 8. You guys ever wonder why Jesse always wants the draft to be held at his house? Well i’m about to let the cat out the bag. Jesse really only wants T to come over. Having everyone else over is a cover to throw everyone else off of what really happens behinds close door. Jesse is the one who really diggs T’s chubb. Whenever T is not in a wheelbarrow he puts Jesse in the wheel barrow position and I think you all can figure out the rest from here. Jesse loves talking about teams being under .500 on the season, with Bill on the way horizon it may be safe to say Jesse may be below .500 after week 9
Ju Ju Train knocks Suck My Ditka out of the MVP race
Being part of the MVP race is an honor. Another way to look at the MVP race is like a GPA, it looks great when you’re on your shit but when it drops, good luck getting it back to where it needs to be. That is what Walt did to Ryan this week. When you’re a 6-1 team in the MVP conversation, i expect you to beat a 2-5 bottom of the barrel team. Walt has a great chance to start being considered for the award race if he can get a win against World Boss next week. Ryan made a big mistake losing to Walt. If Ryan had lost to a team with a winning record he may have held onto this spot. I don’t think I need to spend time humiliating Ryan this week as he clearly did it to himself already.
Eazy Pickins survives My Ball Zack Ertz attempted Monday night comeback
Nate is starting to come alive! Just when you thought Nate was down and out he somehow pulls off the improbable victory. Nate is the trophy master. Nate’s first win came against the 2018 and 2019 champion , his second win was against the 2016 champion and his third win on the season came against the league’s first ever MVP winner. This is special folks so keep your eyes out because Nate’s name will be surfacing a lot in the upcoming weeks if he keeps this up. I am done with fluke, I mean Luke. If Luke was to lose every single game from here on out I wouldn’t be surprised because there is nothing special happening here. His team is a shit show and we only care about winners here not guys who get to 50 career wins and suddenly forget how to win.
Suck My Jankzz sneks by Who Dat Nation in a low scoring affair
There was nothing impressive about this matchup. Jason was able to come away with the win but i’m not impressed by a 5-2 team coming away with a win after only scoring 88 points. At the end of the day, Jason got the win and that is all that matters. Besides this low scoring affair Jason has done enough this year to start gaining traction in multiple award races. Who Dat? Who Dat? Who Dat ho at the bottom of the league? Chris is having the worst year i have ever seen from someone who was once a dominant force. I’ve never seen someone fall to their knees as fast as Chris. All I can think of is before every matchup, all Chris thinks about is the image Bill shares of the woman who gets all the hotdogs thrown at her face. I need someone to help clear something up for me. Normally people put ketchup or mustard on their hotdog, however after Chris gets hit with the hotdogs his face is covered in white. Do people usually put mayonnaise on hot dogs?
Rugknuckles continues to shine bright as he make winning look easy against The Steel Curtain
Bill is partying like it’s 1999! and has now taken over the number one spot in the MVP race. Are we going to witness the first team to go 12-1? if anyone can do it it’s definitely Bill. I think it is safe to say Bill could be Chris from last year. I expect Bill to do something extremely special and be the one to also take home the commissioner special award. Bill is already leading in multiple trophy races so why stop now. The Steel curtain came crashing down this week but fortunately he’s still sitting in the playoff race. The remaining week will be crucial for RJ as there is only one week left before no one has visibility to the awards races. Let’s see if RJ can remain in the MVP conversation.
Yo Belichick Yo Self holds on for the win as The Eagle Empire fails to pull off the Monday night comeback
This was another low scoring affair that does not deserve much attention. When I look around the league I like to see scores in the triple digits. When a team gets a win scoring less than 90 points, it lets me know how bad that team’s opponent is. However, I do have to give Cam his props for pulling off the win. Last year’s commissioner’s special award winner, has a few weeks to do something special to retain his crown. Let’s see what Cam has instore for us in the remaining few weeks. Mark is the golden goose of week 8. it’s like Juicy Jesse said all Mark did was laid a bunch of eggs which ultimately led to him putting another L to his record. It will be interesting to see what Mark has instore for us in week 9.
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