Team SUN GOD’S shines bring in his Legends debut over banana pudding
There is a reason Mark got an entire welcome write up when he joined the league. When a spot opened up in The Legends, Mark was the first name that came to mind. After winning the Ballers league two years in a row, it was time to move him up. It only took one-week, and Mark has already shown he is the best in the league after capturing the top performer award in week 1. Mark, since you’re new, I will let you know how this works. When you win, you get praised, lose and I’ll shit on you like banana pudding. Speaking of banana pudding, Jesse looked as soft as baby shit but then again, anyone probably would when they face off against the Ambassador’s favorite, Team SUN GOD’S!!!!!!!
Suck my Ditka continues to dominate World Boss
The Ditka mushroom stamp made a great first impression in week 1. Ryan has been a pain for T. When it comes to these two it seems as though Ryan always comes out on top. For those of you have been paying attention, Ryan is listed as the guy who drives the most fear into opponents and he definitely gave T nightmares. Someone said T is wasting another year of his life because it will end without a fantasy championship. if World Boss does not get into the win column in week 2, there is a chance he might become World Bitch instead.
RJ lays his steel pipe across the lips of Shaky
RJ did not let last year’s pink shirt affect him start to the 2026 season. This is how you want to start the season if you’re RJ. Mr. Steelers Rod was the second highest scorer in week one and that was thanks to the sweet lips of Shaky. Shady was fine before week one then King Steel Rod RJ came in and fucked it all up for making Shady look extremely Shaky after just one week. I wouldn’t be surprised if Matt is still shaking after week one. My guess is someone else will will look to keep Matt shaking in week 2.
The Eagle Empire is off to a great start over Luke
This win makes the Ambassador extremely happy. It’s good to see after all the hard work and dedication, our commissioner did not forget how dominant he could be. I am hoping Mark could get back to his 2022 form where he could have annihilated everyone in his path if it wasn’t for injuries. I would highly recommend you guys try and stop Mark now because, back-to-back wins will definitely give him the confidence he needs to show managing two leagues does not affect his performance. It’s too bad Luke can’t be great like Josh Allen. Josh is out here balling the fuck out while Luke is out here doing the opposite, without lube. Luke is a rollercoaster, high one week and low the next. Luke is low right now, so I would suggest you all to come and hang your ball zach out over here while he’s down there.
TVann32 brought the champ back down to earth with a week one stomping
Tyler beat the flat earth theory out of Walt. I am sure after this Walt will now know the earth is round. The champ probably got lucky last year. The champ is always my favorite to start every season but thanks to Tyler, Walt can go fuck himself. The only thing Walt needed to do was win to show he is still the dominant champ we all saw last year. instead, he showed us all that we fucked up last year because he really isn’t that good, he just got lucky. Tyler is off to a great start towards defending his division crown!
Who Dat Nation spent the entire off-season studying Mr. Eggplant
The matchup of 2 champs with a total of 5 championships between them. I am happy to see Chris came out on top. After ignoring all of his friends for 8 months, Chris finally came out to send a message to Bill, to let him know he will never have three championships as long as he is around. I really hope Bill loses again next week. This will guarantee praise for Bill’s opponent from the Ambassador which will lead to a group message filled with eggplants. We all know Bill loves his eggplant emoji, but I had no idea he would also be a fan of Chris’s.
Paul took T’s bitch Cam for a spin in week 1
Lumberjack Paul and T are going to have a problem. Cam is T’s bitch but now Paul is looking to make Cam his bitch. There are things in life that T does not mind sharing but when it comes to Cam, she’s off limits. Maybe Paul and T could work something out. We’ll let Paul have Cam during the regular season and T will keep Cam during the playoffs. It is going to be an interesting week 2 if Cam remains in the loss column. I must also mention Cam was the lowest scoring team in week 1, only bitches put up the lowest scoring rounds in fantasy.
Good Luck in week 2!!!!
